Here we say what we can't say in real life to someone

[Tara]

I have a personal blackberry and company iphone and haven't removed signatures. I will do this. In fact I probably should add my work signature to the iphone.
Posted from my home desktop

[PetShopBoy]

OK, dude, we know you have bathroom issues. I'm sorry that you have a traumatic psychological relationship with your feces. Believe me, we all do actually speculate about your past as it relates to defecation. Were you severely punished as a child? Do you have post-partum depression over your bowel movements? Why talk to it? We don’t know…we can only gather it from the fact that you’re on the toilet about six times a day and the stalls are not sound-proof.

I’m not that really interested. To each their own; as it should be.

HOWEVER.

You kick open the bathroom door. I had to replace the hydraulic hinge to that door. Why? I didn’t sign up to do maintenance.

You have no problem touching the door knob to the front door of the office…no problem touching the file cabinets…no problem touching the faucet handle that we just touched…but you just have to kick open the bathroom door? Why?

Kicking the flush valve on the toilet is no better. I had to arrange for a plumber to come in and reseat the toilet because you kicking the handle caused the seal to crack and leak toilet essence upon the folks one floor down.

Yes, I know it was you. I know how you loathe your own logs.

Dude, believe me, I know that you’re good at your chosen career; a master at the craft, no doubt. And I fully believe in letting people be themselves, especially when they are as proficient at their art as you.

But when your “shit” interferes with my time and attention, I get angry. One could say “pissed”. Quit it. I’m not a plumber; I’m not Maintenance, but it becomes my problem and it shouldn’t.

If your neuroses continue to be my problem, I’ll probably jack the network, pull your home address from the personnel files and anonymously mail you on a daily basis every piece of scatological reference I can find. How about a nice still pic from “The Human Centipede” for starters?

[bklyngirl]

But when your “shit” interferes with my time and attention, I get angry. One could say “pissed”.

Eat some asparagus.

oops wrong thread.

*running out of room*

[PetShopBoy]

Hang out in mens' restrooms much?

[bklyngirl]

ohhh you're one of thoooose who thinks women never release any bodily functions.

That and, ya know, the ladies line is always too long.

[PetShopBoy]

You wiff your own pee?

[bklyngirl]

EEEWWWWW!

*backs away from thread slowly, eyes averted, hands up*

[PetShopBoy]

umm....hmmm...

Next time I get a "territorial marking" comment from someone, I'm citing a chick that wiffs her own pee.

[bklyngirl]

*SIGH* I guess you've never been in a ladies restroom before.

[PetShopBoy]

THAT is a trick question.

[naked rev. trish]

it's green pee on the crayola index.....

and you people owe me a keyboard.

[bklyngirl]

It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

[PetShopBoy]

It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

The question was implied. Remember, I'm fairly well-read and familiar with nuance.

But I did ask a question (that you dodged)...you wiff your own pee?

[Observateur]

I'm still trying to recover from the "Human Centipede" mention.

[PetShopBoy]

I'm still trying to recover from the "Human Centipede" mention.

Oh, I got so much worse for this dude.

Think "Marquis de Sade".

Need it come to that, I may go there.

[bklyngirl]

The question was implied. Remember, I'm fairly well-read and familiar with nuance.

But I did ask a question (that you dodged)...you wiff your own pee?

My answer was "EEEWWWWW", and for someone who is well-read and familiar with nuance, you should know that my answer was implied. (psst: it means "hell no!")

[PetShopBoy]

The question was implied. Remember, I'm fairly well-read and familiar with nuance.

But I did ask a question (that you dodged)...you wiff your own pee?

My answer was "EEWWW", and for someone who is well-read and familiar with nuance, you should know that my answer was implied. (psst: it means "hell no!")

Yeah, sorry...just overtly pushing buttons...

So, if you don't wiff your pee, then how do you know that asparagus does that to urine?

Wiff other peoples' pee?

Just sorta trapped in the oeuvre, so to speak?

[bklyngirl]

Sometimes when you enter a bathroom you're unfortunately trapped in the eau de toilette of the previous occupant.

[bklyngirl]

and you people owe me a keyboard.

Depends

[PetShopBoy]

Sometimes when you enter a bathroom you're unfortunately trapped in the eau de toilette of the previous occupant.

Fair, I'll give you the out (hasty retreat...as it were. Discretion and valour and all that...)

But YOU were the one who cross-posted, not I...I was backing out of the other thread with eyes averted and hands up...

No such luck here.


So, when asparagus-urined women congregate, what is that...like a pack or something?

[bklyngirl]

So, when asparagus-urined women congregate, what is that...like a pack or something?

a bushel?

[PetShopBoy]

A peck? Of Pickled Peppers? A prick? What????

[bklyngirl]

That Peter Piper picked.

[PetShopBoy]

See, now, you mentioned 'peter'...a whole new set of innuendos just opened up....

[bklyngirl]

[PetShopBoy]

Oh, so you want me to continue....I see...

[VirginiaDave]

So, when asparagus-urined women congregate, what is that...like a pack or something?

a bushel?

What if they shave?

[PuffinJ]

That Peter Piper picked.

So strange...I was just reading about Pierre Poivre in this blog entry: http://m.npr.org/story/145664873?url=/b ... t-as-a-man. What a coincidence.

Back to the bathroom: It's weird when pee smells like coffee (after one has consumed coffee). How is that possible?

And we have a men's room at work that is targeted by men from elsewhere in the building (who do not work with us). One is a maintenance worker who groans and makes all sorts of noises. He also doesn't believe in courtesy flushes. My co-worker turned off the light on him while he was in there one time. At least he hasn't broken anything in there. Sorry you have to deal with that log-loather, PSB.

[PetShopBoy]

So, when asparagus-urined women congregate, what is that...like a pack or something?

a bushel?

What if they shave?

You know that merchants were stoned to death for shaving their bushels. Hence, a baker's dozen.

True story. That I sorta made up.

[PetShopBoy]

Back to the bathroom: It's weird when pee smells like coffee (after one has consumed coffee). How is that possible?

It's the diuretic compounds in the food/drink.

And we have a men's room at work that is targeted by men from elsewhere in the building (who do not work with us). One is a maintenance worker who groans and makes all sorts of noises. He also doesn't believe in courtesy flushes. My co-worker turned off the light on him while he was in there one time. At least he hasn't broken anything in there. Sorry you have to deal with that log-loather, PSB.

I'm going to kill him. Or crap on his desk. Or both, maybe. After prolonged torture.

Next time, I'm going to call the plumber after taking my sweet time. A week maybe. Then let the plumber take his sweet time. Another week, maybe. Meanwhile, I'll just go to the Au Bon Pan at the corner. He'll have a fit and everyone else will give him a "code red" and that should solve the problem. Maybe he'll never shit again....

[bklyngirl]

That Peter Piper picked.

So strange...I was just reading about Pierre Poivre in this blog entry: http://m.npr.org/story/145664873?url=/b ... t-as-a-man. What a coincidence.

We just can't get away from pp tonight.

But thankful that another woman has joined in. hehe

[VirginiaDave]

Or crap on his desk.

This gets my vote. Pics or it didn't happen.

[bklyngirl]

Or crap on his desk.

Or maybe some chocolate pie

sorry, I recently saw The Help

[PetShopBoy]

Or crap on his desk.

Or maybe some chocolate pie

sorry, I recently saw The Help

Yeah, the whole "chocolate"/"crap" thing has been way done....I went to an art show in the early 90's where the artistic appetizer was a baby-doll sitting in a pool of chocolate. Can't say I was a fan of the art, but I loved the appetizer.

I'm going with real crap on this one.

[PuffinJ]

Or crap on his desk.

This gets my vote. Pics or it didn't happen.

I heard of someone who did this (third hand story). They transported the foul matter in a Ziploc and put it on the person's keyboard.

(That might be a good ad for Ziploc...you'd want to make sure that bag stayed sealed until getting to the destination.)

[PetShopBoy]

Or crap on his desk.

This gets my vote. Pics or it didn't happen.

I heard of someone who did this (third hand story). They transported the foul matter in a Ziploc and put it on the person's keyboard.

(That might be a good ad for Ziploc...you'd want to make sure that bag stayed sealed until getting to the destination.)

I'm thinking of having chili the night before, making sure I'm good and primed, then like eight cups of French Roast coffee that morning and just going up on his desk, dropping drawers and unloading on the width and breadth of the desk surface area.

Really. I am.

[bklyngirl]

I'm going with real crap on this one.

umm yeah that's what I was talking about...put crap in pie instead of on desk...literal take on "eat shit"

*scratches head*, maybe you didn't see The Help

[PetShopBoy]

I'm going with real crap on this one.

umm yeah that's what I was talking about...put crap in pie instead of on desk...literal take on "eat shit"

*scratches head*, maybe you didn't see The Help

tl/dr.

[PuffinJ]

You still haven't responded to my e-mail after 48 hours?! You're freakin' 30 years old - you should be responding to e-mails within a half hour tops.

[PuffinJ]

::rips ineffective headphones off herb sitting across the aisle on the bus::

The point of using headphones while out in public is so the rest of us don't have to hear your music. I sort of recognized the sh*tty song you were playing, but couldn't quite remember the name, so I used the Shazam app. And it worked. Even though you were sitting 4 seats away from me. You were listening to "Chicken Fried." Turn that sh*t down or get new headphones.

[Observateur]

To Whomever:
This is not something that you can "try" to do. You can do it or you can not do it. Pick one.

[VirginiaDave]

::rips ineffective headphones off herb sitting across the aisle on the bus::

The point of using headphones while out in public is so the rest of us don't have to hear your music. I sort of recognized the sh*tty song you were playing, but couldn't quite remember the name, so I used the Shazam app. And it worked. Even though you were sitting 4 seats away from me. You were listening to "Chicken Fried." Turn that sh*t down or get new headphones.

I'm a huge Zac Brown fan.

[north ridger]

::rips ineffective headphones off herb sitting across the aisle on the bus::

The point of using headphones while out in public is so the rest of us don't have to hear your music. I sort of recognized the sh*tty song you were playing, but couldn't quite remember the name, so I used the Shazam app. And it worked. Even though you were sitting 4 seats away from me. You were listening to "Chicken Fried." Turn that sh*t down or get new headphones.

I'm a huge Zac Brown fan.

I don't understand why you were upset Puff. It's Zac Brown Band!

That said what did the perp look like? I'm wondering if it was me....

[I know, but...!]

To Whomever:
This is not something that you can "try" to do. You can do it or you can not do it. Pick one.

If Yoda and Luke were BRT posters.

[cherryblossom]

I asked a simple question. Even if it's "I don't know", answer my fucking question instead of ignoring it. I asked a question with three possible answers, "first", "second" or "I don't know", so it should have taken all of 20 seconds to reply. I really don't think I'm being unreasonable if we planned for two weekends together, you tell me we're down to one and I ask which one. I only asked once, so what the fuck, it's not even like I was being annoying. Thank you for finally answering me two days later with your snotty reply. I can't wait to pick you up at the airport, you ray of fucking sunshine.

Not too hard to figure that one out, huh?

[PuffinJ]

::rips ineffective headphones off herb sitting across the aisle on the bus::

The point of using headphones while out in public is so the rest of us don't have to hear your music. I sort of recognized the sh*tty song you were playing, but couldn't quite remember the name, so I used the Shazam app. And it worked. Even though you were sitting 4 seats away from me. You were listening to "Chicken Fried." Turn that sh*t down or get new headphones.

I'm a huge Zac Brown fan.

I don't understand why you were upset Puff. It's Zac Brown Band!

That said what did the perp look like? I'm wondering if it was me....

Lol...guess we don't all have the same taste in music!

I don't think it was you, at least based on your Halloween pics. This dude was average height, kinda chunky, blond hair with a somewhat sizable bald spot in the center-back of his head. Wearing khakis. Beats headphones.

[VirginiaDave]

That's totally him except he is tall with dark hair no bald spot and he only wears Brooks Brothers suits. Also the chances he owns a pair of Beats is pretty low. He definitely listens to Zac Brown though.

[cherryblossom]

And p-p-p-pokerface, p-p-pokerface... that's on his ipod too.

[VirginiaDave]

And p-p-p-pokerface, p-p-pokerface... that's on his ipod too.

I thought maybe "I'm sexy and I know it" on a continuous loop but you're probably right.

[sweepea]

I asked a simple question. Even if it's "I don't know", answer my fucking question instead of ignoring it. I asked a question with three possible answers, "first", "second" or "I don't know", so it should have taken all of 20 seconds to reply. I really don't think I'm being unreasonable if we planned for two weekends together, you tell me we're down to one and I ask which one. I only asked once, so what the fuck, it's not even like I was being annoying. Thank you for finally answering me two days later with your snotty reply. I can't wait to pick you up at the airport, you ray of fucking sunshine.

Not too hard to figure that one out, huh?

Sounds like one of those people who think asking once means you're needy.
Annoying! Hate people like that! Get over yourself.